Creativity...

I like the word. Although it's meaning raises intriguing questions. I wonder now more than ever where I get mine from, but not really. I have always been lucky enough to just have it. Natural, an ability that is as common to me as breathing. I have never had to question it, I can always depend on it, and I have never been in fear of it.

I have always embraced my creativity and if anything... I always ask for more, push harder. I want to know just how far my ideas can go. How far they will go. Sometimes due to limitations I must reign in my ideas, but this is a practice I always reluctantly fight. At most, when near sleep. To wonder about all things seems natural. Although I have come to learn that this mostly is true only in children. Where might I have learned this? Well, from children.

With maturity and age comes understood wisdom, but at what cost? The cost of ideas? The cost of creativity? I have seen it happen to friends. I have seen it happen to strangers, but I have never seen it happen to children.

Just because something is fact does not me it is true. The truth may not always be fact. The truly creative people I have come to admire I do not admire for their wisdom, intellectualness, or skill of craft. What I truly admire about these people is there inventiveness at solving problems. Their abilities to ask questions that many have answered before with fact, but they are quick to not only un-assume these understood facts. Instead, raising a new solution through unorthodox trials to an already proven method. People like this amaze me.

This applies directly to me as an artist, or rather art in general. I do not simply want to be a good artist, or a great artist, or even the best artist. What I want is for ART to be pushed forward.

Now, it may not me that presses it toward some all empowering place, but as long as I keep the creative inertia of Art going that is what I want. I believe it has been stagnant for sometime and it is taking everything I got to get it going.

I am not saying I am God of art, or that it is only on my shoulders, but if all artist took a confrontational stance toward art we as artist could get this thing going somewhere. I don't know where it needs to go, but I sure as hell know I cannot move it all by myself. Although I am trying.

In my search to push my creative energy I am now attacking from all angles through battle fronts of literature, visual, philosophical, and the intellectual. I want to know what are my boundaries. At some point there has to be something that cannot emote an idea from me. The harder I try to push myself. The further away I seem from my true limits. Thus, raising my ideals that I have yet to even hold a match to my true potential.

Problems: I don't know where I need to go, how I am going to get there, and what to do when I reach there. Besides these questions many more confront me, but that is for another time.

The only true battle my creativity has is with sleep... And that is only because I do not dream.